Love yourself as they do....

I was talking to a friend of mine last night that I hadn't talked to in years.  It was so nice to talk with her and feel of her spirit.  We got talking about life and just the things that come with life.  But the subject that has been in the media a lot lately.  BULLIES!!!  I am sure we have all been bullied at some point in our life.  I know I was.  I hated HATED HATED, 8th grade.  I am sure many of you are wondering, who didn't hate 8th grade?  Well I especially hated it.  At the beginning of the year I thought I was the Queen BEE!!!  I was part of the popular crowd.  I was who everyone wanted to be.  Then in one moment, it was taken away.  How that happened you ask.  Well another girl moved in and was the new girl at school.  She did not sit back and play the "pour pity new girl act" OH, no... she made sure everyone knew her and that she was the "NEW" queen bee.  She moved into my territory.  I was best friends with a girl named Amy.  We were never apart and we were the best of friends.  Well this girl... (I will call her "Ann" for now) decided that she wanted to be apart of our group.  She did everything that she could to become mine and Amy's friend.  It didn't take long because she had such a personality that she was welcomed wherever she went and was instant friends with whomever she wanted to be.  Well once she was in "our little circle" the destruction started to happen.  I am sure many of you females out there know that there is no comfort, security, peace when there are a group of 3 friends.  Someone is always going to be left out.  Someone is always going to have their feelings hurt.  Someone is going to be pushed out.  Well as you all can guess that someone was me.  Ann got in and started her business.  She knew what she was doing.  She knew she was in the process of tearing something great apart.  Well along with me losing my best friend at the time she started to destroy me social, personally, and emotionally.  It was pure HELL!!!  It probably took a matter of two weeks from taking me to QUEEN BEE to outcast.  I am not sure if many of you know how an outcast is treated in 8th grade but it was not fun.  I tried to cover it and hide it from my mom but she could tell... she knew what was going on.  What really what could she do? What could she say?  The damage had been done.  I was emotionally scarred for life. 
I knew my mom and others were praying for me.  I knew that my Heavenly Father loved me.. but at that point it didn't matter.  Friends and social status was all that mattered when you were 13 and 14 years old.  But my mothers prayers were answered, my prayers were answered.  There was an announcement made right around the end of the school year that the boundaries of the two high schools that this junior high fed into had been changed.   I knew that Amy and Ann would be going to the high school that I had thought I would go too, but where I lived I had a choice to go to this other one.  It didn't take long to decide where I was going.  I knew that if I went to the other High School that I could start over.  So that is what I did.  And believe me I know my Heavenly Father was looking out for me.  He knew my struggles that I was facing and he knew how it was tearing me apart. 
For the next 4 years, I was able to stay away from the BULLIES.  I made new friends, amazing friends, friends that I am still in contact with today.  I had experiences at this high school that I don't think that I would have ever had at the other one.  Amy and Ann were a distant memories.  But they didn't leave me without a mark.
I had been scarred.  Honestly that is when my emotionally eating and self destruction began.  I had a hard time looking in the mirror and see someone that I loved.  Someone that I thought was beautiful.  Someone that I thought had purpose. 
So along comes my conversation with my friend last night.  Talking about self pity parties and why we have started to tear ourselves down.  Then she said something that hit right at home.  She said, next time you are feeling low, less of a person, FAT, ugly, not a good mom or wife... look at yourself and love yourself as your baby loves you.  So this morning Cole woke up.  I went in to his room and when he saw me the biggest smile hit his face.  He loved me.  He didn't care that I needed to lose weight, he didn't care that I have a zit on my face, he doesn't care.  He loves me for being who I am.  After his bath this morning I wrapped him tight up in his towel and cradled him and for a moment we just starred at each other.  It was an experience that I will never forget.  In the one moment he smiled again and then reach up and touched my face.  For some reason I know that was him telling me that he loved me.  That I didn't need to change anything about me.  That who I was is all he needs!

So if you take anything away from this post it is... Love yourself as they do.  Look at yourself through your children's eyes.  In their eyes there is nothing that needs to change.

THEY LOVE YOU!!!!